It's about time for an update...

Well folks, I guess I've held off long enough from telling the blogosphere what comes next for me. After being unhappy with my job at dish network for seven months I am quitting. This was not as easy a decision as I would have liked since I do not currently have anything else lined up by way of employment. This week is my last week of having to go to a place that was a decent job and source of income at a time when I needed it but also a place that I dreaded going to everyday. I was never happy working there. I only felt like I could make it through each day after I gave my supervisor my notice to leave the company. I am grateful for the friends I made while working there - especially my friend Kim who has continued to give me strength even after she left the company back in February. (We still see each other at church but it was at dish where we first became friends).

In addition to me leaving my job I will be moving. The question remains as to where. When I initially decided to quit my job I thought about moving in with my grandmother in Broomfield for a while. This is still an option, but as the time has gotten closer to the end of my current lease I have once again felt that it is not yet time for me to leave the Parker/Castle Rock area. I know there are plenty of people that will be frustrated with me (I'm sorry to my family who has had to endure my flip-flopping back and forth). I have considered going elsewhere in the last few months more than I have in a long time. I know I could succeed where ever I go in anything I do, but for me at this time in my life it comes down to what I feel is right for me. I am someone that feels the need for guidance and inspiration from my Father in Heaven. That inspiration has not been as clear recently as I would like it to be but I can still make choices in the way I should go. I know that I was inspired to come to Denver  4 years ago for school. At that time I could have moved anywhere in the Denver Metro area, but I was lead to find housing in the Parker/Castle Rock area. This simple decision has lead to some of the best times in my life and making some of the best friends I have ever had. I know I could meet new people elsewhere because of how much I have grown here. But there is still something I am missing. Though I cannot explain what it is I know there is something for me that I still need to learn and/or find.

Change happens - that I know and have come to accept. Change will happen whether I leave or stay, but if you have something really good in your life that can lead you to something even better then why would you ever let that go??? Why should I move away from the amazing friends I have made in my ward? Why would I leave such an amazing place where I still have something left for me even though I don't know what that is? So, to any of my Crowfoot friends who might actually read this little rambling of mine, I am doing everything I can to stay within the ward boundaries for the foreseeable future. To those who thought I was leaving, this is coming as a little bit of a surprise to me too. I do not know where I will live. I have to search for an affordable apartment where I can move to by the end of June. I have to pack up my life again no matter what I do, but I am ready to be on my own once again. I am stronger than I was the last time I lived alone. I can be happy on my own (though someday I hope to have someone with whom I can share my life).

So bring on this last week at this job! Bring on the next stage of life! Bring on the change and I will show you what I can make of it!!!

It's Good to be put in Time Out

This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to go to San Antonio, TX for a Time Out with Katie and our friend Kris. I've enjoyed being in the south again and seeing the beautiful missions of San Antonio. I now have plenty to think about as I Choose to Become. Hopefully what I learned here this weekend will help me on my journey.

Good Life???

I want to be able say this is a good life and mean it...

On Being 28 and Single

Another birthday has come and gone. Frankly, if I hadn't taken the day off of work it really would have felt like just another day. Yes, it was fun to go to Pappadeaux with my friends as well as my parents the night before even though this lead to the inevitable "what about that guy or the other one" from my mother. How do I tell her that I've been interested in pretty much each one of them at one point or another over the last few year and it's always come to the same thing - they're not interested back. I'm still friends with all of them and don't know what I would do without them in my life, but in the long run I am as single now as I was 28 years ago - in some ways more so. I crave company but end up doing most things on my own. I have to decide every year if I'm going to sign yet another year long apartment lease in or pack everything away for another move. I have to find ways to earn my own living as well as maintain a home because there is no one else. I have to search for someone to listen when I have something to say (and 90% of the time I end up being the one that listens rather than being heard). When things go wrong I only have myself to blame. All you get by reading this blog is the ramblings of a crazy person. There are no accomplishments, no growing children, no tales of happy moments with "that special someone". The adventures have ended. If you want to continue wasting time reading these ramblings than stay tuned to find out what comes next.

For Grandpa

Mayhoffer/Baron/Norris Family

Thanksgiving 2007

Last family picture with Grandpa

Three years ago today my Grandpa, John Mayhoffer, passed away at the age of 82. I think about him every year at this time. He was quite gruff at times but we still love him. He was a smart man and a hard worker. He did a lot with his life. Though he was harsh with his words on more than one occasion I still miss him. I wish I could have spent more time with him. I know my Grandma misses him too. I'm glad I still have her around, but at 89 we're not sure how much longer she will be with us. I want to spend more time with her while I have the chance. For that to happen some other things will have to change. That means more difficult decisions for me, but I hope I can make the right choice that can help me feel like I have a purpose in life again instead of dreading each day.