2009 - The End of Another Year

Well folks, it's the end of yet another year. This year had many ups and downs as is normal in life. The biggest upside about this year for me was finishing my Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. The biggest downside was not being able to find a full time job after graduation due to the sucky economy (and not likely to find anything decent any time soon).

So, now that it's almost the new year you might be wondering what I have to look forward to? Well, I'll tell you. For the first time in my life I have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to - no schooling, no job prospects, no love interest (that's par for the corse though). Hopefully all ya'll have at least a little something to plan for in this coming year, but as for me it will just be another year in which I try to stay sane as I go about my life from day to day.

Happy New Year!

What a Wonderful Woman

Today my grandma, Jeane A. Mayhoffer, turned 88. She is such a wonderful person in general, but especially a wonderful grandma. You might ask what makes her so wonderful (besides the fact that all grandmothers are wonderful in one way or another). Well, I will tell you. She never had any kids of her own. She met and married my Grandpa a few years after my mom's mom passed away. She moved away from her beloved California to be with him and his three kids (my mom and her two brothers) in Colorado. I'll be honest here; I don't know the whole story. For that I would have to ask either my sister (the family historian) or my mom or Grandma herself. I will tell you what I do know. Any time we grandkids would come to visit (usually in the summer) Grandma would spoil us rotten, but not so much that we'd go home with the "I wants". She would always send birthday cards and Christmas cards and sometimes presents other times of the year. When I decided to move to Colorado for Graduate school Grandma supported me 100%. In fact she has supported me and all of my siblings in furthering our educations. Without her help I never would have been able to focus so much on school and get my MLIS in just under 2 years. On top of it all, she took care of my grandpa til the day he passed away. He was beginning to suffer from Alzheimer's among other health issuses and was not the most pleasent person to be around at times. Yet she was always there for him. When he passed away in March of 2008 we all worried about how grandma would hold up. But Grandma has turned her focus on her children (she still calls them and their spouses "the kids") and grandchildren and even great grandchildren. She is always asking what she can do for us while we beg her for ways we can help her. When we go out for dinner for a special occasion we have to insist on paying but usually she wins the argument. If you try to over rule her and pay when she's not looking she will run down the waiter and pay instead (she did that once when my uncle tried to pay for a birthday dinner).

So, while she is no actual blood relation to me the relationship we have in many ways is stronger than blood. She is my Grandma. I was named for her. I am glad to be able to tell people that I have such a wonderful grandma and that we are the pair of Jeanes in the family. I'm glad I'll be spending Thanksgiving this year with her and other family members. She makes family gatherings so much better. I love you, Grandma!



It's not the best picture of her, but it's the best one I have right now. This was taken when we visited Grandpa's grave a year after his passing. You can tell she misses him.

All Hallows Eve (A.K.A. Halloween)

This is what I decided on for my Halloween costume:

An Ode to my Lil Bro

Ok, so this isn't going to be an ode in the traditional poetic sense, but it is in honor of my little brother, David, who reached the end of his 24th year of existence on this earth today. These are just a few of my memories of him throughout the years.

I vaguely remember the day he was born because it was the day we moved into the little house in Denham Springs (I was only 2 years old). He was a chunky little kid for a few years which is funny because he is now the skinniest of us all. Every now and then he would have the most awesome blond 'fro you've ever seen and then Mom would realize it was time for a haircut.

For a few years in a row we got to spend his birthday in a hotel in Hammond because Dad would have work meetings and they would pay for us to stay. Buffet breakfast and a swimming pool!!!

He was always there, right behind me in school. We had band trips and Science Olympiad and choir and 4-H together. After he graduated high school he and I moved away from home together (I transferred schools after 2 years at LSU). I still remember the day we drove away in my little green Saturn up to Monroe to move into the dorms. He was so together and I was a wreck. The smallest things would upset me, but he was there to help me through.

When he left on his mission the next year I knew I would miss him. I somehow kept up with writing to him - an email every week. He's the only one I've managed to do that for.

I love his sense of humor and his perspective on life. I love the things we've shared and want to always be able to share special moments with him as well as my other siblings. So, on this special day I want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my one and only little brother! :-)

It's All Been Done

Well folks, I figured it was about time I post on here about graduation. Two weeks ago (5 June 2009) I graduated from the University of Denver with my Master's of Library and Information Science. Yes, it's official! I'm a real live (unemployed) librarian! As my Uncle David put it, I'm officially over-qualified. Now if I could just get a decent library job (preferably in Colorado so I don't have to move) then I'll be all set.

Anyway, most of my family was able to come to my graduation. Only my little sister couldn't be there in person, but thanks to modern technology she was able to watch it on the Internet. Even my friend from high school, Erica, came out for this special occasion. It was lots of fun hanging out with her and spending time with family.

I want to write more, but the muse is not with me right now. I'll have to let this suffice until I can think and not just babble on and on about nothing.

One Week

That's right folks! If you've been keeping up with my countdown to graduation you know that I am now only one week away from getting my Master's in Library and Information Science. It's been a long hard road, especially here at the end when all motivation went out the window, but I'm starting to feel like I can breathe again. I only have a couple of little things left to do and turn in, but I know I can get it all done. Of course, then I have to get things ready for family and one of my best friends from high school coming into town for the ceremony... not to mention the ever daunting job search. We'll see where things go from here...

...and, yes the title of this post is a reference to one of my favorite bands - Barenaked Ladies :-)

Weekend Road Trip and Camping

This past weekend I took the opportunity to get out of the big city with some friends (Julia LeBaron, Lisa Anderson, and Jason Baldwin) and go camping in the mountains. What an awesome experience!!! We met up Friday morning, packed the car, squeezed ourselves in, and went on our merry way to Ouray, CO, about 6 hours drive from Lone Tree. We had such a good time cooking over a fire, hiking to 2 waterfalls, driving in the mountains, soaking in the hot springs, shopping, and laughing. I took tons of pictures (before my camera died) of the scenery and fun poses. This is just a sampling.

Watch the road, Jewels!

Having fun being a backseat driver!

Can I help you, Jason?

There you are, Lisa!

After unloading the car but before setting up camp. That's a lot of stuff!

Breakfast in bed!?! Thanks, Jason!

Lower Cascade Falls... BEAUTIFUL!!!

Overlooking Ouray

Box Canyon Falls... AMAZING!!!

Overlooking Silverton

Christ of the Mines Shrine

Why I Celebrate Cinco de Mayo

Today has a special meaning for me. For most people it is a celebration of all things Latino and a time to party. I also hold it as a time to celebrate and party, but for different reasons. You see, three years ago today I finished my Student Teaching while at the University of Louisiana - Monroe, the last thing I had to do before graduating with my Bachelor's degree. I spent 14 weeks teaching kids at 2 different schools: 6 weeks teaching math at Good Hope Middle School and 8 weeks teaching Spanish at west Monroe High School (both in West Monroe, LA). It was one of the most stressful and trying times in my life. Many times I felt like I wasn't doing good enough, but I made it through. And now I have completed my Library Practicum hours. These went by much faster (100 hours verses 180 hours) and was much more enjoyable. I was able to work with many wonderful people at the Philip S. Miller Public Library in Castle Rock, CO. When I started I never even thought how much I'd miss working with them and seeing them through out the week. My field mentor, Linda Rose, was so helpful and supportive through everything. I hope I can get a job working with as nice a group of people as they are.

To celebrate all of this as well as Cinco de Mayo I went to a friend's place in my apartment complex where we had good company, delicious food, and a pinata (provided by me!). It was a lot of fun. Now to finish all my papers and assignments so I can graduate.

31 days...

Catching Up

I started to write a new post for this 10 days ago, but never got the chance to get back to it and now I don't feel like writing everything I was going to write. Suffice it to say that Saturday, the day after my last post, was a great day even though I was struggling with school work. I spent the morning at home watching the Bourne movies, then rode around in a pickup/snowplow truck with my friend Flint for a few hours in the afternoon (he'd been working since 8:00 the night before and needed someone to help keep him awake til he finished), and then took only 45 minutes to shower and dressed up for a date that night with Jason B. (who happens to be Flint's room mate). It was actually a double date where Jason and I met up with a couple of friends for dinner and a movie. If you want more information you will just have to ask me because I'm not putting anymore than that on here.

Moving on, I ended up turing in that first paper about 5 days late (and it was a piece of crap) which put me behind on my next paper for that class. That one I also turned in late, though only 4 days this time. Meanwhile, I've been working hard on my Practicum hours and will finish them next week. I've also still been working my 2 part-time jobs, trying to keep up with church responsibilities, and have a social life. I've found it really helps me to take the time to enjoy life and not stress out about the little things.

I once again graduated from Institute (religion classes) and was asked to speak at the first ever Institute graduation ceremony for the Denver Metro Area. I've typed up my talk and posted it on Facebook, but I think I'll post it here too very soon.

Anyway, life has been pretty good lately. I have caught up on my assignments for my class, though I still need to catch up on my writings for my practicum. Since I did not have homework hanging over my head last night I was able to really enjoy Institute, seeing my friends, and take the opportunity to go roller blading after. I hadn't been on roller blades since high school I think so I was a little nervous, but I did pretty well. I did fall once, hard, on my butt (and it still hurts right now) however I really enjoyed myself. It helped that I wasn't alone and that Jason was willing to give me pointers to improve. He even showed me how to go backwards when I asked even though I thought it better that I not try just yet and end up falling again. I think I will deffinately have to go roller blading again. I forgot how much fun it can be. Maybe I'll actually get into shape this summer if I can do that and take some walks around the neighborhood and, of course, play soccer!!! I'm so glad we're starting to play again tonight! Yay for warmer weather and longer days!

...36 days

Second Snow Day

I went to bed last night while it was still raining/ foggy outside my apartment and woke to several inches of snow. Granted it started snowing in Castle Rock last night while I was down at the public library helping with a youth services program so it was not really a surprise that it started snowing in Lone Tree while I was sleeping. The thing is, it's still snowing! So, it was nice having another snow day (even though I was taking the day off anyway). It's been a day full of movies, friends, and naps. I tried working on homework, but I am once again experiencing mental blocks when it comes to writing my papers. I am tired of writing pointless reports that really aren't helping me learn anything anyway. If the class I'm taking weren't a required class I think I would drop it and focus on other things. Don't get me wrong, it is an interesting class. I'm just jaded by all the fluff papers I've had to write in Grad School. Seriously, can't they just ask for the content and not ask for more pages than really necessary? I have often been able to express myself completely in one or two pages when the teacher asked for ten. I am sooo ready to be done!
... 49 days

Happy Easter!

Time's fun when you're having flies... or something like that. Today was Easter Sunday, but for me it was pretty much like every other Sunday. It was my first major holiday where I didn't spend at least some time with my family, which is weird but that's how it worked out this go round. Going to Grandma's just didn't work out and Katie is dealing with her medical anomalous husband not to mention 4 kids. Church for me just runs so late that it makes it hard to be responsible in my callings and spend time with my family. In all reality, I really wish I could have gone to Utah to see Mom, Dad, and Frances. Don't get me wrong, I had a fairly good day. It's just one of those very stressful times where I wish I could see clearly into the future to stop my worries. I know what I want, but what I want doesn't seem to be working out right now. Maybe someday it will. In the mean time, holidays alone don't feel like holidays at all. I hope I don't have to spend another major holiday alone again. We shall see...
54 days to graduation

Friends, Phantom, and Flowers

What a great St. Patrick's Day and continuation of my birthday celebration! Tonight I went with my mom and room mate, Amanda, to Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen for crawfish. Other friends from church joined us in eating the delicious mud bugs. Thanks for coming out tonoght James, Christy, Rhisa, Danny, Stephanie, Jenna, Brandon, Jason P., Brad, Brian, Ashley, Carston, and Jason W. To all of you that could not make it, you missed out on good company and good food.

After enjoying some crawfish my mom, Amanda, and I went downtown to the Denver Center for Performing Arts to see The Phantom of the Opera. It was amazing! Definately a show I want to see again live.

Lastly, I want to say that I love getting fresh flowers. My mom got my a small pot of Daffodils (my birth flower) last week. Then today I received a floral arrangement of White Tulips and Bells of Ireland from my older brother, John. And at dinner Stephanie brought me a bouquet of blue dyed Daisies. All of the flowers are beautiful. Thank you so much.

The flowers from Mom

The flowers from John

The flowers from Stephanie

For My Birthday

Some time ago I got the idea that I would like to go up to Lookout Mountain above Golden, CO, for my birthday to watch the sunrise. Part of this idea came from a friend's blog post last year about watching the sunrise and I want to say thank you to her (I hope you know who you are).

I was originally planning on going up by myself to just enjoy the peace and quiet and the great view that Lookout Mountain offers, but then I wouldn't have been able to get a picture like this. My mom ended up going with me to enjoy the spectacular beauty that is a sunrise over the plains of Colorado. Thanks Mom!

I must say I was amazed at how quickly the sun comes up over the horizon. Even though I am not a morning person it was worth getting up early. What a great way to begin celebrating the day I was born and at an age where I can remember it and appreciate it that much more. I would recommend to anyone to take advantage of an opportunity like this sometime during your life. We spend so much time running around that every once in a while it is refreshing to take a step back, slow down, and enjoy a sunrise (especially from a mountain view).

Reminiscing

Today was one of those days where I found myself thinking back over the years and remembering how long ago something was or what I was doing this time of year in past years. Part of this was because one year ago today my grandfather, John Mayhoffer, the only grandfather I knew, passed away. We all knew he was not going to be around much longer, but we still didn't expect him to pass when he did. I remember that I had already talk to my mom that day for quite a while and I had gone to work at the library and attended my last Cataloging class for the quarter. My family was already planning on coming to visit the following week and I was looking forward to seeing them. But when I was sitting in class working on the last assignment with Amanda (this was before we were room mates) and I saw that my mom was calling me I knew something was strange. Mom normally doesn't call me when we've already had a long chat that day, so I decided to answer (I wasn't interrupting class). I told her I was in my last class for the quarter and she said she would tell me whatever it was later because she didn't want to upset me. I told her she had to tell me after a statement like that and she proceeded to tell me that Grandpa had died. I was shocked, didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say. I got off the phone with Mom and told Amanda what was going on. She said I should leave to talk to my family and take care of family stuff. I told the instructor what had happened and she also told me to leave class, so I did. I called Grandma to make sure she was okay. I called Katie to find out what we should do. There are still times I can't believe Grandpa is gone even though we went to his grave site today to put flowers. It does help knowing he is in a better place and can continue learning without the frustration of forgetting.

Another time I have been looking back on, although not as much, was around this time two years ago. That was when I came to Denver to be interviewed for admission into the Master's of Library and Information Science program at the University of Denver. And now, here I am with only three months left until graduation. It really is crazy how much things can change in two years, even though the time seems to pass slowly every now and then. I had no way of really knowing if I'd be accepted into the program back then and now I'm almost done. Who knows what the next two years will hold for me...

The last thing I want to mention is the event called Time Out for Women. It is once again here in Denver and Katie and I are once again attending. The last time it was in Denver was October of 2007 when I was still fairly new to the Denver area and Katie was pregnant with William. I think the last time I was kind of disappointed in the event because I was expecting something different. Now I have a better idea of what to expect and how this event works and I have thus far been able to enjoy it more. I really enjoy getting to spend this time with my big sister and realizing that even though we have really different lives right now we still have things in common and need each others help to make it through the good times and the bad.

Stressed

Those of you who have been around me lately, especially today, might have noticed how stressed out I am. Today was the worst yet. I woke up with a headache most likely thanks to the fact that I was still thinking about school stuff when I turned off my light to go to sleep. Despite not feeling good I still went to church where I felt like a nervous wreck and continued to think about school stuff. I will even admit to writing my practicum experience goals during sacrament meeting because I really should have gotten them done weeks ago. I am facing the fact that I only have 2 weeks left in the quarter and still have lots of work to do on my final assignments. I am also facing having to take the comprehensive exam in a month and should study some before hand. I am trying to keep up with job applications as opportunities open up and also not worry so much about where I will end up once it is all said and done. I also have to think about both my current jobs and church responsibilities while remembering everything that I have already made plans to do. I keep thinking that I should plan on helping to clean the church on Saturday but then remember that I have plans to go to Time Out for Women with my sister, Katie. I guess it's a good thing we made these plans 2 months ago because we could both use the Time Out.

Well, through all of this insanity I have at least come to appreciate the fact that stressed is desserts spelled backwards... and boy do I love some good desserts!

Note: If you're wondering about the pie picture it is in honor of Pi(e) Day this month on March 14 or 3.14, the approximate value of the irrational number Pi. :-)

Still counting down

Well, folks, in case you were wondering if I'm still counting down the days I have left until graduation this post is to let you know that I am. Today marks 100 days until I graduate with a Master's in Library and Information Science from the University of Denver. I'm trying to keep up with my school work as well as my current jobs while searching and applying for various full-time library job opportunities. I'm hoping I can stay in the Denver area because I really don't want to have to move again (every summer for 3 years so far).

The graduation bug has also really hit my room mate. She's itching to go on a trip towards the end of May and I wouldn't mind going too. She's emailing me the results of trip searches to places like Washington, D.C. and Ireland! I only hesitate because of my sense of responsibility. Maybe I should be irresponsible just this once and plan an awesome trip with Amanda. Decisions, decisions. While I think about my options I'll keep counting down.

Mardi Gras Mambo!

It's Mardi Gras folks and I'm stuck in Colorado, where most people don't even know when Mardi Gras is. I wanted to go to New Orleans this year, even talked about it with my room mate, but ultimately decided to be responsible. That and I don't have the money to spare.

AAAAAHHH! People here are so ignorant. I just heard a news anchor say "I used to like to collect those beads until I realized that people expected you to do things for those beads." NOT TRUE PEOPLE!!! There are plenty of places that you can go in New Orleans to collect beads without being "required" to do anything but CATCH them! I've caught loads of beads in New Orleans without compromising my standards. I wish I was there now...

But since I'm not, I do like to bring Mardi Gras to me. I held 2 Mardi Gras parties this year, one in January and the other this past Saturday. I make my Southern food and invite my friends over. I even make King Cake since buying a good one here is near impossible and expensive.

But today is the end of Carnival and I will put away the King Cake for another year. I will be responsible and go to work and class this afternoon and evening (wearing Mardi Gras beads, of course). And maybe next year I will be able to go down to New Orleans where people know the truth about Mardi Gras for the real party.

LESSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULEZ!

Believing

When I finally decided to jump on the blog wagon it was because I finally decided on the perfect name for my blog. I didn't want some random name or title. I wanted it to say something about me. So the perfect title came from one of my favorite songs by The Monkees. Just a few of the lyrics are "Cheer up sleepy Jean, Oh, what can it mean, To a Daydream Believer, And a Homecoming Queen." This has been one of my songs for as longs as I can remember. My friends in high school used to sing it whenever they saw me (and some of them still do). Now, just so everyone understands, I was NEVER Homecoming Queen. In fact I was never in the running although I was always on the field during the Homecoming Game half time show... thanks to marching band. I have never even seen myself as the Homecoming Queen type, but I do consider myself a Daydream Believer. Thus, the title/name of my blog. Even in the times where I am down in the dumps or having a terrible day I use my daydreams to compose myself and go about my life. For instance, last week I got some crushing news that a job I really wanted to apply for was no longer available. I felt like the whole world had been pulled right out from under me and that I was a failure for not even having the chance to apply for that job. I had already been to work at the library that morning and still had to work at Sylvan that afternoon so I had to bring myself together. I cried my eyes out to my mom for quite some time (I'm sure she has no idea what to do with me when I get like that) but I also knew that I had to act like everything was just fine so I could make it through work. That's where my daydreams come in. I pulled myself together by focusing on something else, anything other than jobs or my uncertain future. I focused on my daydreams and made it through that hard time. Since then I have applied for a different job and spent lots of time with good friends.

Which brings me to my next point. In my last post I was very much a downer on friendship and the whole best friend thing. I have since come to realize that in saying I have no friends I am being very unfair to the people who put up with my nonsense and still care about me. First off on that list of people would be my family. Who says family can't be friends?!? I love my family and am grateful for their insights and knowing that I'm not alone in how I feel. Thanks a bunch Mom, Dad, Katie, John, David, and Frances. Next on that list (and no less important to me) are the friends I've made here in Colorado over the past year and a half. More and more I come to realize how important these people are to me and hope that I don't have to leave them after I graduate in 4 months (yes, I'm still counting down). Thanks Rhisa for coming to visit me on my bad day. Thanks Ashlee for the more intimate girls' night and pedicures and other fun times. I could name more, but for now these two girls have meant the world to me and helped pull me out of my funk. And last, but certainly not least, on my list is my awesome room mate, Amanda. We have been living together for 9 months now and we have such a great time together. We each do our own things away from home, but when we are home together we laugh and cry and share our stories of interacting with stupid people throughout the day. Thanks Amanda! You are an awesome roomie!

So, for now, life is good. I acknowledge that I have friends and good ones at that (and it's in writing!!!). I'm keeping up with school and both jobs and church and searching for library job postings all while having a pretty decent social life. I never really thought my life would be this full and fun at the same time, only in my daydreams. But that's why I am a Daydream Believer.

Welcome to my life

Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

So, I know it's kind of cheesy to use song lyrics in a blog post, but this song says exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm tired of playing the social games where you smile and act like everything is all hunky-dory because the people around you don't really care about anyone but themselves. I'm tired of being the nice person that invites everyone over for food and games only to have my home disrespected by so-called adults acting like freshmen in high school. I'm tired of people saying "we should hang out more" only to have them forget about me when I'm not in front of their face. I'm tired of sticking my neck out for people I know, trying to be nice and make them feel welcome, only to have none of those courtesies offered to me in return. I'm tired of making all these efforts to be social only to ultimately have no social life. If I wanted to have no social life I wouldn't have made the effort to get to know people when I moved here. I could have stayed the way I was in Louisiana, a social recluse. So, why do I continue to torture myself trying to have a social life?

Counting down

I am officially counting down the time I have left in my Master's program at the University of Denver. I have been tourturing myself with full-time school and two part-time jobs in order to finish this degree in less than 2 years. So, for the benefit of all who know me, I will graduate 5 months from today! Let the countdown begin!!!

Giving in

While trying to fall asleep last night I decided to finally give in and start my own blog. I have been following the blogs of several of my friends as well as family and figured the beginning of this new year was as good a time as any for me to jump in the bandwagon. I have no idea what you can expect in reading this, but I hope all who do take the time will find it enjoyable.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!