Update on Insanity

So, when I last wrote I was planning on retaking the PRAXIS Math Content test as part of applying for a Colorado Teaching License. Luckily I was smart enough to email the Colorado Department of Education before I signed up for the test because they responded advising me not to take any test at this time. So, I am now working on submitting my application for an initial teaching license. Once they have everything from me they will let me know what else I need to do which could still include taking a test. I still want to get my math back up to speed. (Cassie, you are more than welcome to join me in studying math. I'd like to go at least as high as Calculus, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I'm going to borrow some books my grandfather bought that are part of a series called "Teach Yourself...". Hopefully they will help.) I even went to the extreme of buying a new graphing calculator since the one I had in college has been misplaced over the years since graduation.

Therefore, over the next few weeks I will have to:
-get fingerprinted and submit to a Colorado Bureau of Investigation (CBI) background check ($$)
-get transcripts from all the universities I have attended ($)
-fill out the application and get ULM to fill out a section saying I completed their teacher education program ($)
-submit the application to the department of education ($$)

I hope I can keep the motivation I've had lately to finish this process and have the means to pay for all this as well as the everyday bills. I'm trying to stay positive and enjoy the opportunities that are presented to me. I know I'm not the greatest example for keeping a positive outlook on life, but I feel so much better when I have a goal and direction that I hope I can always have something to look forward to. I don't want to have the feeling I did at the beginning of this year where I had absolutely nothing in my future that I could focus on. Yes, life is hard, sometimes it really suck in the moment, but there are so many good things that can happen along the way that can balance or even cancel out the bad things. Moving forward feels so good!

I Must Be Insane!

I am seriously contemplating retaking a test that I took about 5 years ago in order to renew my teaching certificate (and by "seriously contemplating" I mean I am going to do it). The problem is that it's a math test and I have forgotten more math than most people ever learn. I haven't taken a math class in over 4 years and now I'm facing the prospect of refilling my brain with math concepts over the next six weeks. On top of that I still have to work both my jobs, help my family, and try to keep up with my social life for what it's worth.

I really don't know what is possessing me to do this. I thought I was done with teaching, but there is something that is pulling me back in. Is it the strange allure of school supplies every year that teaching would give me an excuse to buy them (and an income as well)? Is it the possibility of being employed but also having the summers to travel or just goof off? I don't know at this time. My life is such a mystery to me. I can't even really explain why I did things in the order I did them rather than choosing other paths. If I every figure out where my life is headed or even why I'm trying to go back to teaching I'll let ya'll know. In the mean time I need all the help I can get in preparing for and (re)taking this test. Here's hoping!!!

My Observation / Venting

I have recently resigned myself to the fact that there is no one person there for me when I really need the support or kick in the pants. Often my family is there for me. Occasionally a good friend. But most times it's just me and my own chutzpah that keeps me going from day to day. Mostly this is because people (at least the people I know) are so concerned with their own lives that they don't "have the time" to help me or show concern for me. What makes me notice this even more is that I am constantly sticking my neck out for others only to never receive the same concern in return.

I know I'm venting again, but I'm tired of being the world's door mat. I'm tired of working hard at both my jobs that are not really paying all the bills. I'm tired of going to all the church activities only to feel very alone. I love helping my sister with her kids, but what about when I need help.

Those who let me down the least are the members of my family. For that I'm grateful. I just wish my friends were less disappointing.

Nauvoo

I went on a roadtrip with some friends from church July 5th - 10th to the small and beautiful town of Nauvoo, Il. It was really fun and I think I'll let the pictures do most of the talking this time.

About Moving

This month has once again brought lots of changes and challenges. Moving, car repairs, traveling, and trying to be social. There was even a job interview thrown in, but I'm 99.9% sure I didn't get the job.

On the 7th I got the keys to my new apartment and started to move in. I moved most of my stuff by myself with a little help from my sister Frances and a very few friends. Despite me moving almost everything on my own, I still got snide comments about how much stuff I have. Here's a hint for you: I KNOW how much stuff I have. Your stupid comments aren't going to change that. And why do you care? You didn't have to move it!!! Despite all that, I love my new place. I am back with my old room mate Amanda and we both love being on the 1st floor for a change. No More Stairs!!! (at least none that I have to climb to get home). It's also nice being closer to church and family. I used to live 10 miles from my sister Katie and her family. Now I'm only 2.5 miles away! I used to be 7 miles from church. Now I'm only 3 miles down the road! I am farther away from work, but right now I don't spend most of my time at work anyway. I still have a bit of unpacking to do and getting rid of stuff, but I'll get to that eventually.

A couple of weeks after I moved I flew with Katie to Utah to be with our family. For the first time in over 13 years our original family (Mom was calling us the Magnificent Seven) was together under the same roof. It was nice being together again. Family dinners were the best growing up, and I'm glad we were able to relive some of those times for just a couple of days.

The Magnificent Seven

From left to right: me, John, Frances, Dad, Mom, David, Katie

Last weekend Amanda and I went on a little road trip. I had invited a few other friends but they all turned me down for one reason or another... some friends! Anyway, we drove up to Idaho Springs and then went up the mountain road to the top of Mt. Evens, one of the several 14ers in the state of Colorado. It was a beautiful drive! We got to see wonderful scenery and adorable animals. I love being able to do things like that with Amanda.

I love how crazy Amanda is!

The mountain goats were all over the top of the mountain.

Amanda and I on top of the world... I mean mountain.

 

There are other things I could write about this time, like how alone I have felt and how I really have no one who is there for me when I need someone, but I don't want to share that here. I'd rather be able to sit with a friend and have them really listen to what I have to say instead of me always listening to them or being interrupted by other people that are more important. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm tired of putting my trust in people that really don't care... I don't even know why I try anymore...