It's Good to be put in Time Out

This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to go to San Antonio, TX for a Time Out with Katie and our friend Kris. I've enjoyed being in the south again and seeing the beautiful missions of San Antonio. I now have plenty to think about as I Choose to Become. Hopefully what I learned here this weekend will help me on my journey.

Good Life???

I want to be able say this is a good life and mean it...

On Being 28 and Single

Another birthday has come and gone. Frankly, if I hadn't taken the day off of work it really would have felt like just another day. Yes, it was fun to go to Pappadeaux with my friends as well as my parents the night before even though this lead to the inevitable "what about that guy or the other one" from my mother. How do I tell her that I've been interested in pretty much each one of them at one point or another over the last few year and it's always come to the same thing - they're not interested back. I'm still friends with all of them and don't know what I would do without them in my life, but in the long run I am as single now as I was 28 years ago - in some ways more so. I crave company but end up doing most things on my own. I have to decide every year if I'm going to sign yet another year long apartment lease in or pack everything away for another move. I have to find ways to earn my own living as well as maintain a home because there is no one else. I have to search for someone to listen when I have something to say (and 90% of the time I end up being the one that listens rather than being heard). When things go wrong I only have myself to blame. All you get by reading this blog is the ramblings of a crazy person. There are no accomplishments, no growing children, no tales of happy moments with "that special someone". The adventures have ended. If you want to continue wasting time reading these ramblings than stay tuned to find out what comes next.

For Grandpa

Mayhoffer/Baron/Norris Family

Thanksgiving 2007

Last family picture with Grandpa

Three years ago today my Grandpa, John Mayhoffer, passed away at the age of 82. I think about him every year at this time. He was quite gruff at times but we still love him. He was a smart man and a hard worker. He did a lot with his life. Though he was harsh with his words on more than one occasion I still miss him. I wish I could have spent more time with him. I know my Grandma misses him too. I'm glad I still have her around, but at 89 we're not sure how much longer she will be with us. I want to spend more time with her while I have the chance. For that to happen some other things will have to change. That means more difficult decisions for me, but I hope I can make the right choice that can help me feel like I have a purpose in life again instead of dreading each day.

Where's The Escape Button When I Need It?

I have really been thinking about what direction my life is headed right now and I have come to the conclusion that the major part of my life - my job - is dragging me down more than helping me out. Yes, it is a regular paycheck, but at the price of my sanity and losing focus on the important things in life. Since I have started this job I have forgotten important dates (such as when bills were due) and put off things that would help me in the long run. I cannot continue in this. I need an escape. So, I am thinking about other options I can do that will not drive me insane as much as this job and give me the time I need to find something more along the lines of my fields of study. There needs to be some changes in the next few months in order for me to feel like I am doing something worthwhile with my life. Things are going to change - I'm going to make them!!!