WHO DAT!

In case you don't know, I am a Saints fan! I normally could care less about the Super Bowl and usually don't even know who's playing. But get the Saints in the game and I'm all over it! Now, don't misjudge me by anymeans. I have never skipped church for football and today was no exception. I went to church - got there early in fact - and I stayed the entire time! The great thing about it all was that I was able to stay for all of church, leave as soon as it was over, and still make it home in time for the coin toss. I invited people over, but only one person came other than my room mate, Jessica. Am I upset that people didn't come? NO! The Saints were so awesome that I was jumping for joy and probably would have stepped on someone. Plus, I didn't have to put up with people cheering for the other team in my home. I'm glad I was able to watch the game. I'm glad the Saints proved the doubters wrong. And I'm glad to be a part of the Who Dat Nation!

Saints 31 Colts 17, Drew Brees MVP, First Super Bowl appearance in franchise history, First Super Bowl win! Laissez les bon temps rouler!!!

Think Too Much

I've been thinking quite a bit lately, more than I normally would seeing as I'm not in school anymore. I try to stop my self from thinking too much, but that's almost like trying not to breathe more than once an hour. I sit still and my brain keeps going. The only trouble is my thoughts only lead to more confusion. I think about the things I've done thus far in my life only to wonder why I worked so hard and have very little to show for it. I think about the things I've studied only to wonder why I can't remember more. I think about my parents only to wonder why I don't seem as important to them as my siblings. I think about my siblings only to wonder why I am the anomaly among them. I think about my friends only to wonder why I am so often left out when they "want to hang out with me". I think about the guys I've liked over time only to wonder why I was nothing more than a sister or a "great friend". I think about the guys I currently have interest in only to wonder if it's even worth it to bother. I think about my faith only to wonder why it so often seems in vain. I think about my future only to wonder if I'm heading in the right direction.

There is a song that I've been listening to that seems to fit this thinking perfectly. It is from the musical Wicked and is entitled "I'm Not That Girl"

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

(I've added emphasis to the parts I feel apply to me.)

My mom got me this soundtrack for Christmas because ever since we went to see the show back in November she see's me as Elphaba. In many ways I am like Elphaba, but she gets the guy in the end where as I just get shafted everytime. That's why I can't even let myself start wishing anymore... my heart can't take the hurt.

I have now exposed myself more than I ever intended to do in this little blog of mine, but I suppose it's because I know how few people will actually read this. Most of my friends and family don't even know I have a blog. The ones who do know most likely only check it once in a blue moon because I, as a single female, have nothing of interest of which to share - no children, no real job, no more schooling, no touching stories about a significant other.

So, here's to too much thinking and a life of mediocre solitude.

So This Is The New Year...

Ringing in 2010

2009 - The End of Another Year

Well folks, it's the end of yet another year. This year had many ups and downs as is normal in life. The biggest upside about this year for me was finishing my Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. The biggest downside was not being able to find a full time job after graduation due to the sucky economy (and not likely to find anything decent any time soon).

So, now that it's almost the new year you might be wondering what I have to look forward to? Well, I'll tell you. For the first time in my life I have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to - no schooling, no job prospects, no love interest (that's par for the corse though). Hopefully all ya'll have at least a little something to plan for in this coming year, but as for me it will just be another year in which I try to stay sane as I go about my life from day to day.

Happy New Year!

What a Wonderful Woman

Today my grandma, Jeane A. Mayhoffer, turned 88. She is such a wonderful person in general, but especially a wonderful grandma. You might ask what makes her so wonderful (besides the fact that all grandmothers are wonderful in one way or another). Well, I will tell you. She never had any kids of her own. She met and married my Grandpa a few years after my mom's mom passed away. She moved away from her beloved California to be with him and his three kids (my mom and her two brothers) in Colorado. I'll be honest here; I don't know the whole story. For that I would have to ask either my sister (the family historian) or my mom or Grandma herself. I will tell you what I do know. Any time we grandkids would come to visit (usually in the summer) Grandma would spoil us rotten, but not so much that we'd go home with the "I wants". She would always send birthday cards and Christmas cards and sometimes presents other times of the year. When I decided to move to Colorado for Graduate school Grandma supported me 100%. In fact she has supported me and all of my siblings in furthering our educations. Without her help I never would have been able to focus so much on school and get my MLIS in just under 2 years. On top of it all, she took care of my grandpa til the day he passed away. He was beginning to suffer from Alzheimer's among other health issuses and was not the most pleasent person to be around at times. Yet she was always there for him. When he passed away in March of 2008 we all worried about how grandma would hold up. But Grandma has turned her focus on her children (she still calls them and their spouses "the kids") and grandchildren and even great grandchildren. She is always asking what she can do for us while we beg her for ways we can help her. When we go out for dinner for a special occasion we have to insist on paying but usually she wins the argument. If you try to over rule her and pay when she's not looking she will run down the waiter and pay instead (she did that once when my uncle tried to pay for a birthday dinner).

So, while she is no actual blood relation to me the relationship we have in many ways is stronger than blood. She is my Grandma. I was named for her. I am glad to be able to tell people that I have such a wonderful grandma and that we are the pair of Jeanes in the family. I'm glad I'll be spending Thanksgiving this year with her and other family members. She makes family gatherings so much better. I love you, Grandma!



It's not the best picture of her, but it's the best one I have right now. This was taken when we visited Grandpa's grave a year after his passing. You can tell she misses him.