Where Did The Time Go???

I've been taking a look back at my life lately through pictures and by reading my journals. All that comes to mind at those times is "Where did the time go when everything was simple and free? I want to know what happened." I guess it just that I can hardly believe that:

~It has been 9 years since I graduated from high school (they are starting to plan my 10 year reunion though I don't know if I will go).

~It has been 7 years since I went to Australia and then moved away from home for the first time. It was also around that time that one of my best friends got married. (Happy Anniversary Amber and Jesse)

~It has been 6 years since I moved into my first apartment in Monroe, LA. That same summer I went to Mexico on a Study Abroad program. (That was the last time I left the country - I need to use my passport again!)

~It has been almost 5 years since Hurricanes Katrina and Rita devistated the coast of Louisiana (now they're dealing with an oil spill).

~It has been 4 years since I graduated from ULM with my BS in Math Education, moved back home, and started working for Sylvan Learning Center.

~It has been 3 years since I was accepted to DU, another one of my best friends got married (Happy Anniversary Kat and Scott), and I moved to Colorado.

~It has been 2 years since I moved into my current apartment with my first room mate Amanda.

~It has been 1.5 years since another best friend got married (Erica and Josh) and I was the Maid of Honor at her wedding in Chicago.

~It has been 1 year since I graduated from DU with my Masters in Library and Information Science and got a new room mate Jessica.

Throughout the past year there have been many times of unceratinty, much crying for what now seems like unimportant reasons. Looking ahead I know there will be many more times of uncertainty. I'm moving in 3 weeks (staying in Colorado, just moving closer to my sister in Parker), but there is now an uncertainty concerning my room mate. Amanda and I have been planning on moving back together, even found a place we like and put the deposit on it. However, she now has an interview in Fargo and there is the chance that she will be moving away. I really want her to get a good job, I just wish it wasn't so far away.

There are many other things I could share about my looking back - the many guys that I have liked but they never liked me back; the friends that have moved, gone on missions, or gotten married; the family vacations and holidays; the joys and sorrows of everyday living. For now, I just want everyone to know that I am doing well, still trying to find a better job that is the right fit for me, and have gone on more dates since the beginning of the year than I ever thought I would. I am looking forward to moving to Parker even if I do end up having to find a new room mate again. I am looking forward to warm temperatures sticking around for the summer. I'm looking forward to seeing my family (parents and all 4 siblings) next month in the Bountiful Temple. I'm looking forward to getting to see my favorite band at one of my favorite venues (BNL at Red Rocks in July!!!) I'm looking forward to the opportunities that this summer will bring me whatever they may be. But most of all, I'm living each day as it comes, looking for opportunities that my Father in Heaven places before me and trying not to let them pass me by.

Here's a song for you to enjoy:

Normally, I Hate Commercials

I love to watch the Hallmark Hall of Fame on CBS. I think the movies are well made and often touch my heart. But even more than the movies I watch the Hallmark Hall of Fame for the Hallmark commercials. I know how silly that might seem to some people, but it's the truth. There are times when the movie doesn't particularly interest me when I see the promos for it but I still watch it to see if they will play some of my favorite commercials. The latest Hall of Fame movie is a perfect example of this. I thought about not watching it because the story didn't really interest me. I knew I wouldn't be home Sunday night to watch it so I recorded it to watch later if I became so inclined. That inclination came tonight after I got home from my ward's Family Home Evening. I admit the story is very compelling and inspiring, but my favorite part came once again during the commercial break. I knew as soon as I saw the first image of the commercial that it was my all time favorite commercial.




Every time I see this commercial I cry. There is just something about a father showing his love and support for his daughter that really gets to me. The belief that this fathter has in his daughter is something that always reminds me of my own father, both the one who raised me and my Father in Heaven. I sometimes forget this, but there is always the truth that "Good things will come."

Looking Back

I figure it's about time I let those few people who actually read my blog know how my birthday went. It was amazing! I started the day off by going to the temple.

After the temple I went to the airport to pick up my Mom and take her up to Grandma's house. The three of up went out for lunch at The Egg & I.

After lunch I went back to my apartment for a little while. It was a good thing that I did because my older brother sent me birthday flowers!

Note: this is what the flowers looked like after a few days.

They were not blooming when I got them.

Throughout the day I talked to friends and family over the phone and through text messages. While I was taking care of my flowers one of my friends, Nathan, suggested we take advantage of the beautiful weather and get some ice cream before dinner.

We had won this gift card to Cold Stone over a month before my birthday.

It was time to use it!

The spotanious ice cream run made us late for the dinner reservations I made at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen. When I arrived at the restaurant most of my friends that had come were standing outside. They weren't used to me being late. Anyway, I enjoyed 4 pounds of boiled crawfish and a mason jar of banana pudding for dessert as well as some of the best company a girl could ask for!

Boiled Crawfish

Banana Pudding in a Mason Jar

(I got to keep the jar!)

Just a few of the awesome people that came out to celebrate with me.

Back: Laura, Crystal, Barbie, me, Rick; Front: Jessica, Debbie

Nathan, me, and Dustin. These guys are such sweeties!

The end of my birthday brought me to the hospital near where I live. No, I was not there for me. One of my good friends, Jason W., was there and I stopped in to visit him. Alas, I did not get a picture of us that night.

That, however, was not the end to my celebrations. I decided to go ahead and make some changes the Friday after my birthday. I started by going to see Crystal to get my hair done. I decided to let her do whatever she wanted while I had my eyes closed. When I opened them, this is what I saw:

I also decided to finally get my ears pierced. This may not seem like a big thing to most people, but to me it was something I'd been thinking about and putting off for years. That and sometimes it's fun to be spontanious!

Note: This was a couple days after getting my hair done and ears pierced.

The Saturday after my birthday I went with my older sister, her family, and my good friend Ashlee to see Mary Poppins on stage. This was my present from my Grandma (she's way awesome!).

I loved this show!

Me and my handsome date/ nephew James

Two weeks after my birthday I flew over to Utah with my Mom for a little visit. While I was there I bought the new Barenaked Ladies album "All in Good Time" (absolutely love it!) and went with my little sister to see Michael Buble in concert! I had a blast!

Frances and me, waiting for the concert to start.

So, that about sums up my birthday celebrations. I had a great time and look forward to the year ahead. I noticed as I was looking back that I have already experienced the first six out of eight things that I was/ am looking forward to (see post titled "8 Things! REALLY?!?" if you're confused). That doesn't leave much for me to look forward to, but who knows... maybe life will start being nicer to me like it was on my birthday.

Faith Over Fear

Today I faced one of my fears. (I don't often admit to having fears so people take note.) I sang a solo in Sacrament Meeting at church. I love singing and have sung in choirs at church and in the community since I was about 12. I've even sung with my sister in a smaller meeting before. However, this was different. I was terrified, not of doing a bad job, but of being the only one that about 150 people were focused on for 5 minutes while I tried to share the sweet message of the song I'd chosen. I can't really explain my nerves, but I managed to somehow plow through them and finish much stronger than I started.

I want to share the story of how I came to choose the song I did and the process of getting me to follow through with singing a solo in church. About a year ago my sister Katie and I went to a women's conference called Time Out for Women. This was our second time going together. At the Friday night presentation a musician by the name of Michael McLean sang a few of the songs he'd written over the past 25 (now 26) years. One song in particular touched me, bringing tears to my eyes. (I bawled like a baby!) As he sang I remember thinking "This song is about me!" I ended up purchasing some of his CDs and this song was on one of them. I would play it in my car, singing along with the words and sometimes crying when I felt particularly low. Time went on and during one of my many trips to visit my parents in Utah last summer I found a song book with the music and lyrics for this song. Jackpot! I didn't really care that there were about 50 songs in that book, just that it had that song. Needless to say, I got the book not really planning anything.

At church they ask for volunteers to perform special musical numbers between the speakers. About 4 or 5 months ago I started feeling like I should share the song with everyone. The only problem was I needed practice... LOTS of practice. Events were set in motion and I was scheduled to sing in church in November, but I lost my voice. I'd felt like I'd dodged a bullet. December came and everyone wanted to sing some Christmas song and I was more than happy to let them. I didn't say anything about singing and no one said anything to me. Then about a month ago I again had a feeling that I should sing that song in church and soon. I knew that  the last Sunday in February and first Sunday in March would not be options due to the meeting schedule so I set my sights on today, the second Sunday. (There are many other reasons I wanted it to be on this date because of special significance it has in my life.) I spoke with a wonderful pianist and freind of mine, Cassandra, and we began practicing. It was a very rough start too, but thanks to Cassie's effort and encouragement I managed to get the hang of many of the phrasings I'd struggled with.

Then today came. I couldn't believe it when I woke up. A day that had seemed so far away when I made up my mind was now here. I had to sing a solo in church. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?! My nerves were trying to get the best of me. When the time came to walk up front to sing I thought I was going to pass out or shake apart. Looking at the congregation I no longer knew what to think. I just knew I had to sing. Cassie started playing. I started shaking. The first notes came out wabbly. Thank goodness for practice because I finally had to just shut my eyes for a few moments while continuing to sing. I focused on the words I was singing and the message I was trying to share. By the time I started the last verse I knew I could finish stronger than I'd started. The last line of music came. The song ended. I'd done it. When I sat down I was shaking like crazy, but I had faced my fear head on and shared a message I'd wanted to share for a long time.

By this point you're probably wondering what song I sang that was so important for me to share. Fear not! I shall end this post by including the name and lyrics of this beautiful song. It's not quite the same as hearing someone sing it, but it's the best I can do for now.

Ninety and Nine

I am one of the ninety and nine.
I'm not perfect but basically I'm doing fine.
I have not lost my way,
I have not gone astray.
I'm just one of the ninety and nine.

I am here in the heart of the fold.
I'm not mindless, but I try to do as I'm told.
I'm not tempted to run,
And become the lost one.
I am here in the heart of the fold.

So, why is my Sheperd
Coming this way toward me?
He's holding His arms out,
And He's calling my name.
Yes, He's calling my name.
But how, how can this be?

I'm just one of the ninety and nine.
I have stumbled and fallen,
But I've kept in line.
I'm not one He must seek.
I'm not all that unique.
I'm just one of the ninety and nine.

So, why is my Sheperd
Treating me like a lost lamb?
He's searching to find me,
And He's holding me now.
Yes, He's holding me now,
And teaching me who I am.

So, why am I feeling
Like I'm the only one here?
It's like I'm His favorite,
And He takes me aside
And He sweetly confides
These remarkable words in my ear.

You are one of the ninety and nine.
Have you any idea how brightly you shine?
You are safe in this fold,
And it's time you were told
That I know where you've been so I know where you'll be
Because all of your life you've been following me.
You are more than just one of the sands of the sea
Or just one of the ninety and nine!

You are mine!
You are mine!
You are mine!
You are mine!

I am one of the ninety and nine.

8 Things! REALLY?!?

So, I really felt like writing something, but couldn't think of what. Then I remembered that I'd been tagged by one of my friends and fellow bloggers a while back and decided to look it up again to see what it was I was supposed to do. Well, it turns out it was nearly a year ago that I was tagged by Jenn so it's about time I fulfill this obligation. Here it goes...


8 things I'm looking forward to...

My 27th birthday! What?!? It's true. I have some awesome plans for my birthday which include picking up my mom from the airport and going to Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen with about 20+ friends so I can stuff myself with boiled crawfish. YUMMMMM!!!!

Going to see Mary Poppins on stage with my friend Ashlee and my sister and her fam. 4 adults and 4 kids at a matinee showing -- should be a blast!

The new Barenaked Ladies album "All In Good Time". Seriously, if you didn't know by now that I'm a big BNL fan then you've either been living under a rock or haven't been keeping up with my ramblings... possibly both!

Going to Utah. What could possibly be so good about Utah that I'm looking forward to going there again? Well, simply put - Michael Buble! My lil sis Frances and I have tickets to see his Salt Lake City show. I can't wait!!!

Warmer temperatures! Please!!! NO MORE SNOW!!!!!! It's been snowing here in Denver since September and I can't take much more of it!

My next hair appointment... don't know when it will be as of right now, but I'm still looking forward to it. I love my stylist Crystal (she's also my friend so that's a plus) and it's getting to the point where my hair needs to be thinned out a bit.

A date where the guy actually picks me up and drives wherever we're going. I've been on a few more dates than usual lately and, don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of fun. That said, I've also had to drive myself to different destinations to meet up with my last 4 dates which means I drive myself home at the end of the night. Seriously, is it too much to ask for a guy to come to my door, walk with me to his car, drive to the destination, and then walk me back to my door when it's all over? You wouldn't think so, but maybe it is. Oh well, I'll still look forward to that someday.

A full-time job with benefits. I know - now I'm really in dreamland. I'm just getting tired of being yanked around in my part-time jobs and having very little to show for it. It would also be nice if I could go to the doctor or even *gasp* the dentist and not have to pay out the wazoo.


Moving on now...

8 wishes...

Have a guy I'm interested in actually notice me for more than my friendship or sister-ness. In fact, it would be nice if there were a guy that would love me as much as my nephew James does. (Take note any single males out there - you have quite the standard to live up to and here's the proof.)

An endless supply of Blue Bell Ice Cream always in my freezer. (Yes, it's that good!)

The means to travel wherever I want, whenever I want. (Australia and Hawaii are on the list.)

My own, personal library with books from floor to ceiling making necessary the inclusion of those ladders you see in old movies that slide around the room. Also in said library would have to be comfortable seating areas including a nice little window seat.

An endless supply of yarn for my crochet habit (and the time to spend on projects). Other crafting supplies would be nice too, but I'm trying not to be too greedy.

A better understanding of things of a spiritual nature. I can fake my understanding farely well, but I wish I knew more.

A place in the solitude of nature for when I need to get away from everything. I've been thinking lately about going on a search for just such a place. Maybe I should do that... and soon.

For reality to be better than my dreams for a change.

And finally...

8 fellow bloggers...

Katie

David

Frances

Jill

Amy

Elicia

Cassandra

Ashlee


If I didn't pick you, don't feel bad. I only had 8 spots. I hope you enjoy this little insite into the inner workings of me.