Believing

When I finally decided to jump on the blog wagon it was because I finally decided on the perfect name for my blog. I didn't want some random name or title. I wanted it to say something about me. So the perfect title came from one of my favorite songs by The Monkees. Just a few of the lyrics are "Cheer up sleepy Jean, Oh, what can it mean, To a Daydream Believer, And a Homecoming Queen." This has been one of my songs for as longs as I can remember. My friends in high school used to sing it whenever they saw me (and some of them still do). Now, just so everyone understands, I was NEVER Homecoming Queen. In fact I was never in the running although I was always on the field during the Homecoming Game half time show... thanks to marching band. I have never even seen myself as the Homecoming Queen type, but I do consider myself a Daydream Believer. Thus, the title/name of my blog. Even in the times where I am down in the dumps or having a terrible day I use my daydreams to compose myself and go about my life. For instance, last week I got some crushing news that a job I really wanted to apply for was no longer available. I felt like the whole world had been pulled right out from under me and that I was a failure for not even having the chance to apply for that job. I had already been to work at the library that morning and still had to work at Sylvan that afternoon so I had to bring myself together. I cried my eyes out to my mom for quite some time (I'm sure she has no idea what to do with me when I get like that) but I also knew that I had to act like everything was just fine so I could make it through work. That's where my daydreams come in. I pulled myself together by focusing on something else, anything other than jobs or my uncertain future. I focused on my daydreams and made it through that hard time. Since then I have applied for a different job and spent lots of time with good friends.

Which brings me to my next point. In my last post I was very much a downer on friendship and the whole best friend thing. I have since come to realize that in saying I have no friends I am being very unfair to the people who put up with my nonsense and still care about me. First off on that list of people would be my family. Who says family can't be friends?!? I love my family and am grateful for their insights and knowing that I'm not alone in how I feel. Thanks a bunch Mom, Dad, Katie, John, David, and Frances. Next on that list (and no less important to me) are the friends I've made here in Colorado over the past year and a half. More and more I come to realize how important these people are to me and hope that I don't have to leave them after I graduate in 4 months (yes, I'm still counting down). Thanks Rhisa for coming to visit me on my bad day. Thanks Ashlee for the more intimate girls' night and pedicures and other fun times. I could name more, but for now these two girls have meant the world to me and helped pull me out of my funk. And last, but certainly not least, on my list is my awesome room mate, Amanda. We have been living together for 9 months now and we have such a great time together. We each do our own things away from home, but when we are home together we laugh and cry and share our stories of interacting with stupid people throughout the day. Thanks Amanda! You are an awesome roomie!

So, for now, life is good. I acknowledge that I have friends and good ones at that (and it's in writing!!!). I'm keeping up with school and both jobs and church and searching for library job postings all while having a pretty decent social life. I never really thought my life would be this full and fun at the same time, only in my daydreams. But that's why I am a Daydream Believer.